February 16th, 2005


[language] Ostrzeżenie: Niewłaściwe użycie języka

From Joe Monster via mss.

Ostrzeżenie: Niewłaściwe użycie języka

W pewnej firmie finansowej, prezes zarządu był mocno naciskany przez managerów żeby jakoś wpłynął na zatrudnionych masowo w firmie Polaków (cheap polish people) bo oni nic tylko gadali po polsku co zaś bardzo negatywnie wpływało na niesamowity i błyskotliwy rozwój firmy.

Efektem tych nacisków był ten oto list:

To: All Polish Speaking Staff
Subject: Improper Language Usage
Importance: High

It has been brought to our attention by several managers and also officials visiting our offices that Polish language is commonly used by our polish speaking staff. Such behavior is violating our policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and staff. All personnel will immediately adhere to the following rules:

  1. Words like jebał to pies, kurewska robota, chuj, kurwa and other such expressions will not be tolerated or used for emphasis or dramatic effect, no matter how heated a discussion may become.
  2. You will not say spierdolił when someone makes a mistake, or pocałujcie mnie w dupe if you see someone being reprehended, or gówno when a major mistake has been made. All forms and derivations of the verb srać and jebać are utterly inappropriate and unacceptable in our environment.
  3. No manager, section head administrator, supervisor or member of staff under any circumstances will be referred to as chuj, zajebaniec or pierdolony debil.
  4. Lack of determination will not be referred to as srać or olać nor will persons who lack initiative be referred to as pedal.
  5. Creative ideas offered by management are not to be referred to as pierdoły or pojebane pomysły.
  6. Do not say idz sie jebać if somebody is persistent, do not add pojeb, if a colleague is going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must not say zjebaliśy to (refer to item 2) nor wyjebiemy się na tym when a matter becomes excessively complicated.
  7. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say spierdalaj na drzewo nor should you ever substitute "May I help you?" with "Czego kurwa chcesz!?".
  8. Under no circumstances should you ever call your industrial partners kurewski dostawca or pierdolony DCF!
  9. Do not say idzcie do pizdy z tym chujem when a relevant project is presented to you, nor should you ever answer odpierdolcie się ode mnie or metrowy chuj ci w dupe when your assistance is required.
  10. You should never call partner representatives as zajebana swinia or kurewski debil.
  11. The normal behavior of our staff is not to be discussed in terms such as pizda jebana, kurewskie bydle or chujowy pedał.

Last but not least, after reading this note, please do not say moga sobie wsadzic to w dupę!

Please keep hard copy for your records and information.

Thank you and best regards.