June 2nd, 2012

nevermore

QotD: Horsley on talking to doctors

Мемуары покойного Хорзли давно дочитаны. An immense validating experience. Но вот одним кусочком забыл поделиться. Исправляюсь. Чисто ради финального гэга.

I finally went to see my doctor.

‘I've stopped taking all chemicals, owing to side effects of euphoria,’ I told her.

‘Get to the point.’

‘Er... can I have some sleeping pills?’

‘No.’

‘Then will you give me a lobotomy on the NHS instead?’

‘No.’

‘I'm miserable.’

‘Have you tried NA?’

‘I don't want cough syrup for the soul. I want drugs to make me feel better.’

‘Look, I'm busy. Have you got any real problems?’

‘Yes. I've got Tourette's Syndrome, you fat ugly cunt.